Monday, September 28, 2009

here is the link for my paper. you can edit it but i suggest red for things that should be removed,
blue for things that need to be added, and yellow for things that don't fit or need to be connected.

Posted by Andrew at 9:54 PM

6 comments:

  1. Mary HamiltonSeptember 29, 2009 at 7:11 AM

    I can't link on to your paper! Can you try again? Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AndrewSeptember 29, 2009 at 1:44 PM

    try it now http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AZfigeeHCeuLZGZuY3hqaHNfMWc0M200dzYy&hl=en

    ReplyDelete
  3. HannahSeptember 29, 2009 at 2:46 PM

    I should have more advice tomorrow in class, but currently the best advice I can give you, is that your paper needs to flow better. I once had a teacher who used this weird analogy to help us with this concept. She said, "It's kind of like a house. You're paragraphs are like the different rooms, but you can't just telepathically go from one room to another, you have to have doors and hallways. You can't just start in the kitchen and then somehow end up in the bathroom. It's more like, you start in the kitchen and Chug and 2 liter, which makes you have to go the bathroom. And needing to use the bathroom brings you to the hallway which leads to the bathroom." I know it's weird, but for some reason it worked for me.

    . . . heffalumps

    ReplyDelete
  4. AndrewSeptember 29, 2009 at 7:20 PM

    well in the future we will be able to teleport to other rooms without needing hallways, but i get your point. i realize my paper doesn't flow well and i will definitely work on that. I had major issues with changing my paper ever 500 words or so and it ended up splitting it into at least 3 sections that aren't connected. i probably should have asked earlier but it would be really helpful if you knew a way i could connect them. And thanks for the help

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mary HamiltonSeptember 30, 2009 at 3:46 PM

    Andrew,
    It took me a while to realize that you were talking about three unconnected topics. I got a little confused when I got to the end and there was nothing tying it together. Maybe you could say something at the beginning and at the end about how these are three interesting aspects of writing or something of the sort. I hope this is helpful! I liked reading your paper! I thought the part about the history of writing was especially interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AndrewOctober 1, 2009 at 4:49 PM

    thats a great idea it would work great because it wouldn't require me to change the entire paper.

    ReplyDelete

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